By Jamina Bone
We have been fed lies our entire life. Society, our childhood, the schools we attend, and even the relationships we have invested in. I can’t imagine what chains of lies you have begun to believe in your life – but let me tell you what I’ve been dragging around, how I broke free from them, and how you, too can change your mindset and begin to live the life you deserve.
From sexual abuse as a child, neglect, and low socioeconomic status, I worked extra hard to prove I was worthy of a better life. I didn’t honestly believe it, and I carried these thoughts of low self worth with me throughout my life. I suppressed my strengths and talents while feeling selfish and unworthy to pursue them. One failed business, a change in career paths and two children later, I found myself dealing with Postpartum Depression and a struggling marriage. Society was telling me I was failing as a mother, wife, and an artist. I had enough of this story. Have you had enough of yours?
Let’s Re-Write Your Story
Your past may be broken, but that doesn’t mean you are. You can be victorious! On overcomer! A strong-ass courageous fighter! Did you know years of carrying chains of self hate, unworthiness, and perceived failures will leave your brain going back to these feelings as a default? The following exercise, with time and patience, will quite literally, change the neuro-pathways in your brain. We need to rewire our mind to see love and grace as its default setting – and rid ourselves of the toxic lies that we’ve been fed for so long.
1. Identify the Lies:
On the back of a piece of paper, list any negative beliefs you have about yourself. (Examples: I am unloveable, I’m not capable of building my own business, etc. etc.)
2. Locate the Beasts:
Circle the ones that hit a nerve or make you emotional. Let’s focus on these.
3. Make them Obedient to the Truth:
On the front of this paper, re-write each of these statements as truths. Tip: change the negative statements into positive ones. (Example: I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I have all the tools I need to live the life of my dreams!)
4. Re-Train Your Brain:
Read one or all of these new truths everyday. Choose a location you look at everyday like a mirror, your phone, computer, or journal. Read them aloud (even if it’s only a whisper.)
Lastly, if you find a new negative thought creeping into your mind, repeat the process with that thought as well.
Note: With this exercise, time and patience, you will start to see progress. Eventually you will capture these negative thoughts and start to see yourself for who you really are without the need to write it down. You’ll become aware of the lies that are showing up and be able to see them for what they really are.
In the beginning of 2018, I began to rewrite my story. Within two months started seeing improvements in my marriage, my career outlook, my body image, and how I parent my children.
I now help women from around the world see themselves in a new light and begin to heal from those heavy chains they broke free from.
Jamina Bone is an Illustrator based out of Kansas City. Momming With Truth was created in January of 2018 after realizing what her drawings of honest mom moments were doing for others. What began as therapy in moments of great sadness, sometimes debilitating depression, and hopelessness she felt as a mother, turned into outreach. If you want to learn about more ways to love yourself and accept your imPERFECTIONS, download her free guide on her website. You can also find her on Instagram, @mommingwithtruth.