Friendships are typically formed less out of an obligation and through something we actively seek with select people. And in this search, we look for those who impact us positively, providing more “quality” to our lives.
In the case of Luke, he wanted to make me cum because he wanted to feel good about himself. He hungered to be the magical, modern man that gifted me with a squirt. I left that night feeling guilty for not “cumming for him.” I wondered if I should have bitten the bullet and faked it.
But as I have learned through many years of therapy, reconciling doesn’t equal everything becoming “normal” and having your relationship being perfect.
It was cases like these that made me think that I would have to try a little harder to get someone to desire me. I felt like because of my size, I was just going to have to miss out on amazing, pleasurable sex.
The most manipulative of exes plant seeds of doubt that continue to grow long after they’ve left, making sure you feel their control even when they are not physically there. I’ve been there. I’m recovering.
Yet toxic relationships are an essential part of our media; they can often make the most compelling stories, ones that people can relate their own experiences to. They can also give people the opportunity to explore and better understand themselves through fiction.
“Back in my day, we were married to someone before we had a baby with them.” This was a real reaction I heard when I announced I was pregnant. I smiled and walked away with “agree to disagree” on the mind. But later that day I got to thinking – what’s wrong with having a…